Random quotes

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted into management.

No one is listening until you fart.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.